In the latest Star Wars movie – The
Last Jedi – Luke Skywalker, burdened with failure and reluctant to mentor
the ambitious Rey, tells Yoda (his mentor): “I can’t be what she needs me to
be.” And Yoda responds:
“Heeded my words not, did you? Pass on what you have learned. Strength,
mastery. But weakness, folly, failure also. Yes, failure most of all. The
greatest teacher, failure is. Luke, we are what they grow beyond. That is the
true burden of all masters.”
Most leaders are quite happy to share what they’ve learned over the
years – the knowledge they’ve gained, the skills they’ve developed, the
successes they’ve achieved. And yet, when it comes to sharing failures, which
are often the catalyst for knowledge gained, skills developed, and successes
ultimately achieved, they’re not quite so forthcoming.
As Yoda might say, “omission the error is.”
Those you lead, coach, mentor can learn a great deal when you open up
about past failures and walk them through how you responded, how you recovered,
and what you learned. And you did learn.
If not, you wouldn’t be where you are today. Why not share that experience?
Yes, it requires you to be vulnerable. Yes, you have to admit that you’re not
perfect. And by so doing you give your employee/mentee the greatest lesson of
all – it’s OK to fail. Creating an environment where employees can be
comfortable with failure increases risk taking and the free flow of ideas,
ultimately leading to innovation, which is key to organizations remaining
relevant and competitive.
As you share your failures, don’t neglect to include how the failure
impacted you emotionally. Often as leaders we feel that we need to show up as a
tower of strength even while allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. Admitting the
emotions you felt in failure – anger, remorse, grief, fear, whatever they were
– shows that you’re human, and gives your employee/mentee permission to embrace
rather than suppress their emotions in the face of failure.
According to an article in the Journal of Behavioral Decision Making,
“Emotions Know Best: The Advantage of Emotional vs. Cognitive Responses to
Failure,” focusing on our emotional response to failure actually helps prevent
us from making the same mistake again. The authors found that focusing more on
justifying the failure does not “have the commonly believed reflective,
self-improving qualities.” A focus on emotions, on the other hand, “can allow
for learning and, therefore, increased effort.”
Allowing ourselves to learn from our failures and to share that
experience with those we lead, will help us and others have the courage and
strength to lead, to fail, to learn, to grow beyond, and to thrive beyond.
As we wrap up this first month of 2018, I encourage you to make this a
year of personal reflection, learning and grace. 2018 is a year of GROWTH, so be
ready to make the bold request and be turned down, for there is much to learn in
that process. Be ready to learn about
yourself from the inside out – be ready to take the step you are hesitant to
take because what is the worse that will happen? You will learn, and you will grow, and through
this growth and learning, you will be one step closer to your ideal result.
Be present with yourself and your loved ones. Be joyous because you are
blessed with the “now.” Be humble because you are not perfect. Continue to
grow, to learn and to evolve into your most perfectly imperfect self. Don’t be
afraid of the master teacher.
Lead on,
Rebecca
.
